And …It hit me like a ton of bricks.
So, I think today, something happened to me. A sort of "awakening" or "revelation…"
At least it was a very emotional experience for me. Somehow V and I got to texting about feelings and such. and somehow - within this "text talk" I started thinking. I mean, really thinking. I was thinking of how V and I met (online!) how many times we have broken up and gotten back together (like 5!) and how we always, always end up back together - even when we both think we are "done for good."
The feelings I had were incredible. And I remember - when we first met I felt this way. I remember that I was falling in love with him from the get go. But, I tried to be good and NOT be one of those crazy chicks that fell in love "right away."
And I remember too - that I wrote about it in a very old blog that I had. And despite the people that tried to tell me that I should not "wear my heart on my sleeve" and such - I still went with the feelings. And it was awesome. (see below)
Today, while V and I texted - I felt such an overwhelming/spiritual type of emotion - that I started crying. Like a type of crying where you realize that what you had was so very good. And that you are just so very thankful that you still have it now. And it was like a revelation that I really do truly and deeply love him. And that I always have. Despite trying not to at times…
Maybe…(I thought to myself) just maybe in the grand scheme of things, V has been my "Twin soul" all along. I remember writing about Twin souls back in January, and I noticed that I did not mention V at all. I think this was because we were not really talking, and I was once again - trying to forget.
But - whatever reason that it was that I did not mention him….I am sorry. Because I should have. It is just so plain to see. Honestly, I do not know why I never saw it before. Maybe I just didn’t want to. I don’t know. But I am so glad I have seen it now.
V is my twin soul number 3.
Witchy talk coming next….
The number 3, plain and simple - means completion. He is my completion. The number 3 means -The beginning, the middle and the end. It is the power of unity - mind, body & spirit. It also represents a womans cycle of life - maiden, mother & crone. (I am entering my "crone" cycle.)
And, the number three is used for love and friendship. Popularity, charm, expression, feelings, sharing…etc.
The signs are there. They were there all along. I just failed to see them. I do not know why. But I did. I am glad though, that I have seen them now.
When we were away this weekend, things were awesome. It’s like I fell in love with him all over again! And I said to him that I wanted to find a sand dollar. And no sooner did I say it - I found it. (the Goddess provides!)
Another sign.
The sand dollar has 5 points on it. To a Witch - they mean Earth, Air, Fire, Water & Spirit. The points are contained in a circle… and essentially it’s a pentacle. The Pentacle contains all life. Beginning and an end.
So, not only do we have the number 5 which symbolizes the Goddess, but also - birth, death,consummation, repose and death. This is the life cycle. Completed.
To me - this sand dollar tells me that after year 5 - I have completion.
It was V and I on the beach this weekend. And after 5 years together - we are finally, complete.
I really hold my magick close to my heart. And for a very long time, for reasons I just don’t know, I have been dismissing the signs. The Goddess has been trying to tell me these things for so long. But, I was too angry. And it wasn’t until going away this weekend, did I realize it - when I found that sand dollar.
V has been right all along. We are meant to be together. For some reason neither of us really understand - we are together again.
And honestly, I really think this time it’s forever.
I know it is. Because I don’t want him to ever go away again. I want him to be with me forever. He is my Twin soul! It’s meant to be! : )
(This was one of the very FIRST posts I wrote about him when we first met all those years ago. I know it’s long…but I felt I had to post it. I’m glad I saved these…)
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4/25/2003***
Wednesday night, My daughter and I crashed at my best friends house, and yesterday, I was emailing this guy back and forth, that *found me* on the American singles place, we were not talking anything big, just idle chit-chat, while I colored my daughters hair, chatted with my friend etc.
Well I said to him, "hey listen I will get offline now, wanna chat tonight?" He said sure, "how’s about 8:30 pm?" I said yea ok, sounds great..will be here.
So at around 8:15 I turned on my dryer to *warm up* this computer, (LOL that SOUNDS so stupid!!!) and be bopped around till 8:30, well, at around quarter till 9 he logged on! I really thought he was blowing me off, ya know… but we chatted.
Earlier in the day, I had sent him a *tease email* from the American singles site, it said, "hey, I lost my phone number…can I have yours?"
That was the TAMEST one they had, so I thought it would be *ok*…..
Well, during our conversation, he said, *oh yea, BTW…my number is***-***-****!
We laughed, and I wrote down the number, we talked till like 10:30 pm..and then he mentioned…he was AT WORK!
I was like …ohhhh man I am sorry, you are at work, blah,blah,…
He said no problem! I wanted to come in to chat!
So I gave him my number, and he called me at 10:45 pm, told me he would be home at 11:00pm and would call me then.
well, he called at 11 pm and we TALKED till 2:30 am! And the only reason why we hung up, was cause my son was a call waiting on the other end!
I couldn’t believe how much he REMINDS me of me! Even the way he talks when he gets nervous!
Strange?? maybe, but we seem to be very compatible…It is kinda creepy…
And I don’t wanna get my *hopes* up ….but it really was nice.He even has two kids, (but they don’t live with him,)
He called me this noontime too! To say hello, and ask if everything was ok with my son!(can you believe, my son wanted to borrow money!)
He also wanted to ask if I would be home at around eight pm! So he can call me!
AND, I still have not *seen* what he looks like, so he told me, not to send him a picture, till he can get one of him! "Was only fair"…he said!
I told him, I was afraid to like him, cause what if he looks like a troll!
He laughed and said, "yea I was feeling same way!"
Anyway, I feel very comfy with this….AND I actually *like him*….Keep your fingers crossed guys!
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