Simple-Mindz

Sunday Musings…

It’s kind of hard to believe that it’s already Sunday! Where do these weekends go? Saturday, I spent the day trying to catch up on my cleaning. I needed to polish and clean all the glass in my living room area. I took up an old area rug and chucked it out, got rid of the pesky one fish I had left in the fish tank. Vacuumed and dusted everything in site.

This morning, I took apart the fish tank & gained some more room in the living room! I am very happy about this as I like lots of living space. Not much else to do today because it is off & on cloudy/rainy/sunny. So I have pretty much been inside all day & have been watching movies. I really need to get into the closet and organize it though. I just have been putting it off because it’s not something I want to tackle.

The New Look…

Yesterday, I was even able to re do my other blog - The Blog Searcher

I was just in the mood for change, so I thought  why not re do the blog to give it a more updated look. I am not 100% done with it yet, but so far it’s looking pretty ok. Go check it out if you are interested. I have become quite restless it seems and I want to be changing everything again. Was even thinking of changing the look of Simple Mindz. Not sure yet though. Maybe I will just change the sidebars around but keep the same theme.

Joining the ranks…

In case you all have not noticed, I have become an affiliate of the “Date a Cougar” site.

Why the heck have you done that, you are probably asking? Well, it’s because I get TONS of hits for people looking to date older women. It’s amazing how many searches are done with “younger guy, older women, “dating older women,” etc… in my stats.

So I figured, I might as well add some links here, jump on the bandwagon and make more cash. It’s just a dating site, so maybe I can give people what they are looking for.

Sheesh, I added it yesterday and have already had 4 hits on my links. And, when people upgrade to the paid members area I will be getting $35.00. Can’t say that’s all too bad huh?

Immature people…

Am not too sure with that title. I am just annoyed with people in general this week. I put my heart into things and it seems only to be kicked when I am down. Maybe it’s my own fault. Actually, I know it’s my own fault. I keep allowing the wrong people into my life. I have tried to do a lot of “inner self” searching this week. And I cannot help but think I am the one that causes my own heartache.

I think I am just too nice sometimes. Too trusting when I should not be. I put up with shit for so long. Years even,  and for what?  Stomach ulcers, low self esteem, anxiety, That’s what.

I can tell you one thing though. It’s time to delete the nasty people on my Myspace account. The ones that leave nasty little comments directed towards me?  Screw that. No more. I do not need the stress in my life. I am trying to improve my life, not take another step back.  So, I say, “buhbye” to people that do not treat me as I should be treated.

Seriously. I just want to be treated with respect. That seems to much to be asking for though, cause I am constantly being walked over. Not anymore though. I am just very tired of being hurt. Time to take a stand.

Ok…I am done ranting….. For now anyways. 

written by Simple-Mindz \\ tags: cougars, dating, Rants

Things are a changing…

 

When I first started this blog, I wanted it to be many things. I wanted to make money from it. I wanted to write about my life and keep it real. I wanted to make friends and connect on a different level. So far I can say I have accomplished most of those things. I have made money. I have made great connections to some awesome people. But sadly, I have not been able to write about my "personal" happiness. without very nasty repercussions.

Warning - long post ahead.

I am currently very happy in my life. At least I was. Actually, I still am happy but for a few minor annoyances. Annoyances and irrational, immature behavior has ruined things for me. I guess it all started with my post about the new guy in my life. (which have now been made private) We had been talking for about a month when I posted about him. I was holding off because I was not sure if I should actually be posting about him. I am one of those people that hates to hurt others intentionally. Sure - if I can’t stand you…then I don’t give a rats ass. But I am constantly trying to put myself in the other persons shoes and think of what the other person might or might not be feeling.

 

I actually talked to a friend at work about it and she gave me some good solid advice - This is MY blog. And it is MY life. And, I am keeping it real…So why am I holding back on what is important to me? And in some ways I agree. The whole goal of this blog is to "keep it real." This is me. This is who I am. I love to write. I love to talk about the things I believe in. I love to help people learn about computers and software programs and all that stuff. And I was very happy and excited about writing about my relationship. This was and is a part of my life where I was happy. My stomach was no longer burning, my fitness was coming along, and spring was here! And I had renewed faith in relationships again!

It is unfortunate though that at this point in time, I am not going to be able to do that because my blog is now "being monitored" by my "ex." As is my Myspace account.

This past Friday the 13th was a very scary day for me. I am NOT going to get into "details" because quite honestly, my ex does not need to know any details. It’s none of his business. He does not understand that at this point though.

But I will tell you that I was scared. Very scared. So much so that I called two of my friends and gave them all the emails that were exchanged, the texts and all the necessary information they need. And I considered getting a restraining order.

Most likely, this will be a totally unnecessary step. But this is how scared I actually was.

If anything, the behavior on Friday showed me many things. The most important one being, - how much I hate relationships. How much I dislike men and their stupid games that they play. It was an ugly reminder of how awful they can be. It also reminded me why we broke it off in the first place.

I spent the night tossing and turning into the wee hours. Thinking about all the things that he said to me. Wondering if I should still check into a restraining order. Wondering if I am going to need to move out of the state to be left alone. Wondering what did I do to deserve this treatment…and so on.

Some made me cry because it was and is so irrational and not like this person at all. But most of all, it brought up a lot of very hateful feelings because I just want to be left alone and that is not being respected at all.

But because I met Adam "online." my relationship has been called "fake." It is just a fantasy I am living. I am confused as to what is real. I don’t know real love. I don’t even know him….. etc. This is ok. I mean, a lot of people do not believe in "meeting online" as a way to meet people. I never use to either. That is expected. And when Adam and I do meet. It could only go one of two ways……

1. Either we will still like each other as much as we do now -
2. Or…..we won’t.

That’s a simple and easy thing to understand. At least I think so anyways. And if we decide to end the relationship, then we will act like adults and do so. If we decide that we do want to be together, then we will also act like adults and make plans. And in the meantime? We are just enjoying each others phone company. Learning about each other, talking and laughing and being total goofs. Where is the harm in that? When the time is right, I will start posting about my relationships again. But, you know what they say when a kid misbehaves? "Do not encourage bad behavior." My posting my relationship status is just "encouraging bad behavior." So, for the time being…It will stop. Sorry guys.

I am pissed that I need to take this action. But it needs to be done.

Yahoo! Personals - Find The One That Fits You.

written by Simple-Mindz \\ tags: immature, irriational behavior, posting, relationships